- As I let go of my feelings of guilt, I can get in touch with my Inner Sociopath.
- I have the power to channel my imagination into ever-soaring levels of suspicion and paranoia.
- I assume full responsibility for my actions, except the ones that are someone else’s fault.
- I no longer need to punish, deceive or compromise myself. Unless, of course, I want to stay employed.
- In some cultures what I do would be considered normal.
- Having control over myself is nearly as good as having control over others.
- My intuition nearly makes up for my lack of good judgement.
- I can change any thought that hurts into a reality that hurts even more.
- I honour my personality flaws, for without them I would have no personality at all.
- Joan of Arc heard voices too. Read the rest of this entry »
Archive for May, 2009
Daily Affirmations
By subrat sarkar in Humour
May
14
Comments (1,793)
You know you are getting old when..
By subrat sarkar in Humour
May
14
- You and your teeth don’t sleep together.
- Your try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and discover you aren’t wearing any.
- At the breakfast table you hear snap, crackle, pop and you’re not eating cereal.
- Your back goes out but you stay home.
- When you wake up looking like your driver’s license picture.
- It takes two tries to get up from the couch.
- When your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio. Read the rest of this entry »
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Living in 2009
By subrat sarkar in Humour
May
14
YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2009 when…
1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.
2. You haven’t played solitaire with real cards in years.
3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.
4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you. Read the rest of this entry »
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Fact’s in life
By subrat sarkar in Interesting Facts
May
14
- Chewing on gum while cutting onions can help a person from stop producing tears. Try it next time you chop onions!!!!!!!!!!
- Until babies are six months old, they can breathe and swallow at the same time. Indeed convenient!
- Offered a new pen to write with, 97% of all people will write their own name.
- Male mosquitoes are vegetarians. Only females bite (suck blood) as they need protein to lay eggs.
- The average person’s field of vision encompasses a 200-degree wide angle.
- To find out if a watermelon is ripe, knock it, and if it sounds hollow. Then it is ripe.
- Canadians can send letters with personalized postage stamps showing their own photos on each stamp. Read the rest of this entry »
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Children of the 60′s and 70′s
By subrat sarkar in Interesting Facts
May
14
According to today’s regulators and bureaucrats, those of us who were kids in the 60′s, 70′s and early 80′s probably shouldn’t have survived because:
Our baby cots were covered with brightly coloured lead-based paint which was promptly chewed and licked. We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, or latches on doors or cabinets and it was fine to play with pans.
When we rode our bikes, we wore no helmets, just flip flops and fluorescent ‘clackers’ on our wheels. Read the rest of this entry »
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Scared sleeping
By subrat sarkar in Humour
May
14
Shakey went to a psychiatrist. “Doc,” he said, “I’ve got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think there’s somebody under it. I get under the bed, I think there’s somebody on top of it. Top, under, top, under. “you gotta help me, I’m going crazy!”
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Doctors meeting
By subrat sarkar in Humour
May
14
A group of psychiatrists were attending a convention. Four of them decided to leave, and walked out together. One said to the other three, “People are always coming to us with their guilt and fears, but we have no one that we can go to when we have problems.” The others agreed.
Then one said, “Since we are all professionals, why don’t we take some time right now to hear each other out?”
The other three agreed.
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Better relationship
By subrat sarkar in Humour
May
14
A man walked into a therapist’s office looking very depressed. “Doc, you’ve got to help me. I can’t go on like this.”
“What’s the problem?” the docotor inquired.
“Well, I’m 35 years old and I still have no luck with the ladies. No matter how hard I try, I just seem to scare them away.”
“My friend, this is not a serious problem. You just need to work on your self-esteem. Each morning, I want you to get up and run to the bathroom mirror. Tell yourself that you are a good person, a fun person, and an attractive person. But say it with real conviction. Within a week you’ll have women buzzing all around you.”
Read the rest of this entry »
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Interviewing crazy
By subrat sarkar in Humour
May
14
A man who had been in a mental home for some years finally seemed to have improved to the point where it was thought he might be released.
The head of the institution, in a fit of commendable caution, decided, however, to interview him first.
“Tell me,” said he, “if we release you, as we are considering doing, what do you intend to do with your life?’ Read the rest of this entry »
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Joomla CMS setup tutorial
By subrat sarkar in Joomla
May
4